The Demons

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Boots and Revolutions

“I find that every Revolution requires an excellent pair of Boots.”  (That’s what Achilles says, anyway.) And Doc Martins are tops!  For me, at least. At 100 lbs and 5″1′.  Used them once before. Tops in Comfort and Agility. Notice my new pair?  The right one has a slight scar. Probably can’t see it. 

  

Here’s Why We Should Dispense Pot Among The Poor For Free

Sometimes it takes a while to make those connections just right – In other words, those months and years spent thinking about why people willingly accept blatant lies (the answer to that may be infinite) and what prevents them from waking up.

We are all familiar with the marijuana propaganda. It’s been in place as a Public Relations effort on the orders of who knows whom –

(Vague enough for you?
Good.) –

For a long time.

The more amusing aspects were early attempts to exaggerate its demonic properties in Reefer Madness. Which is now considered a hilarious epic of exaggeration.

But that’s exactly how some people perceive it still. Marijuana makes you a lunatic.

Put that up against a “mentally ill person” and you got a dynamite combination.

But let’s see if we can find where the actual lunatic lurks here…

First of all, I propose pharmaceutical companies designate 20% of their research to the properties and applications and development of these properties for therapeutic and other value.

Otherwise, why bother studying marijuana? It’s a plant that grows abundantly and easily accessible.

Now we don’t have to paint the pharmaceuticals as the Evil Giant in the room. In fact, they don’t have to do much at all. Just not choose to study it.

So if they are forced to devote 20% of their Research (that’s a big percentage) to marijuana as an act of giving back to the community –

Well that would work.

Oh.
As for the title here.
I got distracted.
I went off on a tangent.

I knew the pharmaceuticals were connected to my theme.

So the pharmaceuticals produce lots of really expensive drugs that mostly don’t work to treat psychiatric phases of Depression or Bipolar Episodes. And they’re really expensive. So they make a lot of money, dispensing crap.

But not just crap.
Dangerous crap.
Just read the warnings on the bottles.
Scary Shit.
A real gamble.
And yet, these meds are pushed on patients.

So if you’re lucky enough to find a medication that will help stabilize your moods with no side effects – i.e., You don’t feel like a zombie or after you’ve gained 80 pounds as one of the meds side-effects. – then surely you’ll stick with it.

Unless you’re a total fool.

When you find something else that helps you manage your medical condition but it’s classified as a “dangerous” drug, you are forced to break the law.

My question is:

Where are the laws that protect my rights as a patient? What right does the government have to withhold a substance that is medicinally beneficial for my condition?

And,
Can they do that?

Winding my way back to my theme …
Not there yet.
Will get there.
Eventually.

“The Others”

Just in case you’re wondering …

Those who kill themselves – or try –
do not want to die.
Or …
Hurt loved ones
Inflict pain on others
Leave a sparkling legacy behind.
All they want is for the pain to go away.

How selfish of them!
How can they hurt me so!

These thoughts are your thoughts –
Not there’s.

The Myths of The Others

When, in fact, it is an act of preservation of the self –
In a twisted sort of way …
But fully logical.
When the self causes more harm –
than not.
It is only natural to obliterate.

Yes.
An act of Desperation –
When one can no longer see the light.

Please, God.
Make the pain go away –
Make it stop –

But God is not there.
Does not.
Cannot.
And that is the only prayer they can utter.
When the only Light is Darkness

And when they –
The Expert Navigators –
Reach the end –
And, there

There is Light!

Nothing more.
Nothing less.
Than the accidental slip of the tongue.

Fried Brains For Breakfast. OOPS!

Also know as …
ECT

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OOPS.
WRONG YEAR!

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“I Am NOT My Diagnosis!”

This has become a popular phrase lately among people who have a psychiatric diagnosis, especially. But I detect streams of inaccuracy there that are problematic, an attempt distance yourself from yourself – as if you could.

And although I think it’s proper linguistically to say, for example, I have a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder, a chronic medical condition, which requires my active participation in the treatment of my symptoms … Instead of saying, I’m Bipolar

Your diagnosis does affect who you are and how you present to those around you, and in the world. And that’s why I prefer the phrase Affective Disorders, instead of, Mood Disorders, which I consider vague.

The phrase Affective Disorders includes moods, but is much more descriptive and complex, since it immediately evokes images of many behaviors that are physically and visually expressed, and often recognizable, whereas Mood Disorders is comparable to wallowing in murky waters – a Swamp.

Further, I would add (now in support of the mantra) that I knew I was an artist long before I was diagnosed. And I knew what I was when I was a child. I had no idea of psychiatric disorders at the age of five, but instead was focused on doing what I knew I was there – my passions – and doggedly pursuing them, come whatever may come between us.

So, yes. I knew I was an artist, long before I knew or understood how that would be experienced and expressed.

But I also recognize that my diagnosis affects who and what I am, and any attempt to separate that from me, as though it were some discreet idea that merely existed on a remote cerebral plane, a mere thought, something with a switch attached to it, to be controlled – that split would exacerbate the challenges we already face, would be the height of folly and spring of confusion …

Unhealthy.

How WordPress Helps Already Depressed Writers Become More Depressed And Better Writers

After wrenching my gut in just a few words, I really thought I should elaborate on the enormous frustration with this — this, what?  Application? — place.  For as long as I can remember, WordPress has always had just the right amount of juice — just to get you going.  Often, it emerges as a total lack of insight and common sense, insofar as the development of this — thing — product goes.  But just to be fair, WordPress is not alone.  LinkedIn is another app that often leaves me scratching my head.  Like, What the fuck were they thinking about when they put this atrocity together?  But there, on LinkedIn, it is more the absurd limitations they place on their mobile version, which is in need of some serious revamping.  The mobile version of WordPress is not that bad — aside from losing something you just wrote and had thought you were actually publishing.  Now that’s traumatic.  It’s like trying to retrieve your stuff from a cloud. Imagine that!  But you  don’t want to have to copy and save your stuff in another app.  That’s the whole point, isn’t it?  It’s fast and convenient and ideally you shouldn’t have to juggle files between one app and another.

Pretty sure it’s been at least a year since WordPress launched it’s new Design — its user-interface — but the transition from the old interface and the new is still in progress.  Confusing?  Well, now you have the option (on your computer) to use either one. But you sense that both are deeply troubled.  And when you live with a condition like Bipolar Disorder or Depression, let’s just say you tend to be a tad more sensitive to visual shifts and perceptions, having experienced the broad spectrum of of such configurations, from high to low, on a regular basis.

Now I am in no way suggesting there is something wrong with that.  Some (actually a whole lot more than just some) people are just that way. And we struggle to cope with the world we live in and the world outside of us and try to balance those forces.  Our goal is to simplify, not complicate.  We already know a whole lot about complexity.  And as fascinating as complex thoughts and actions and behaviors are — sure is nice to at least have a semblance of stability.  And that’s where WordPress, especially, and LinkedIn can become our allies and advocates instead of our adversaries.

But you know whenever you make any assertion, it’s always good to back it up with examples, so here they are:

I screen shot my browser, showing both interfaces. But depending on which one you’re looking at, the message is, um, confusing?  One totally disregards the number of visitors to your site (the new one) and gives you a flat number of views, while the other provides both, but with some hesitation — Would someone please ask them why? — or uncertainty.

The Image I Wanted To Crop But Couldn't (It was too complicated)
The Image I Wanted To Crop But Couldn’t
(It was too complicated)
The Old Interface
The Old Interface
The New and Improved Version of WordPress
The New and Improved Version of WordPress

 

Maybe someone can figure out what is going on here?